One day, many years from now, you'll be able to say 'Remember that time we beat Collingwood by 15 goals and Ty kicked six?'. Actually scratch that many years from now qualifier, I started on Saturday evening and haven't really slowed down since.
It wasn't your grandfather's Collingwood but given the number of times they've stitched us up you have to take them when they're on offer. It happens so infrequently that dropping the hammer in the last quarter is still a magnificent novelty, especially against a non-expansion team.
It caps a pretty nuts month in which we've: done everything but win against Fremantle, smashed Hawthorn, forgot to turn up to Adelaide and smoked Gold Coast without really clicking into second gear. And after giving up a 2-4 start, we are two weeks out from the end of year (as good as) banked to play finals for the third year in a row. Damien, my hat is tipped.
So much of footy analysis focusses on what happens in the midfield but we beat Collingwood at either end. Lead by Rance (more to come later), the backline was sublime. Even though a stack were hit and hope, to only give up seven goals from 58 inside 50s is exceptional. Up the other end, to kick 23 goals from 49 is off the charts. Someone with access to better stat databases than me might have to sort it out, but I'm guessing 32 scoring shots from 49 is close to the entries per score record if such a thing exists. I'm half expecting to see it bob up in Damo Barrett's if and then travesty of an article he rolls out on Friday.
Speaking of nuts niche stats, this year is the first time since 1931 that we've played Carlton, Collingwood and Essendon twice each and gone undefeated. 1931 is so long ago that it was before Joan Rivers was born and she has since lived, been really old and died. It's really the most marvellous triple double imaginable.
As mentioned above, Collingwood was far from at their best. So much so that Pendles dared come out and speak the truth about it not meaning the world to them and was promptly shouted down for doing so. Personally I'm all for sports people not holding back but either way what an extraordinary to get ten years into a career before playing a meaningless game. Meanwhile Newy cracked 200 and Lids 194 before they played in a final and have since passed the baton onto Lynden Dunn who is up to 159 games and has Trevor Barker in his gaze. Pendles, I applaud you for telling the truth but shan't be feeling sorry for you anytime soon my friend.
Other than Ty, all anyone wants to talk about is Dusty and Jack interacting with the filth Collingwood cheer squadr. Of course the AFL stepped in this afternoon to fine Dusty, because how else are they going to pay Paul Roos' salary? But it's nice to see that while they aren't happy with Dusty, they're happy to run puns on their website:
Dusty aside, how fantastic is the vision of Jack having a bit of fun with/at them? There is so much to unpack in that vision that I feel like I could write a 25,000 word thesis on it. My favourite people involved are:
- The block in the front row on the left who seems to think he's having a conversation with Jack
- The guy with the plaster cast on his arm who slinks behind everyone and looks like he's about to completely unload before mysteriously dissapearing
- The guy middle-top of the screen with the beard who incorporates a clap into his repertoire of abuse
Who I'm most fascinating by is the the chick sitting standing in the front right who looks as if she's popped past to say g'day to someone and is completely bewildered by what is happening around her. What is she doing there? Does she know the person next to her? Is she her parole officer? Get out of there lady, those are not sane people.
By the end of it, anyone kicking a goal late in the last quarter would have done well to find any Collingwood supporters left to give a serve to.
Another pleasing part of Saturday was that our very best players (Rance aside) didn't really play that well. Jack was serviceable without starring, Cotchin well held, Deledio didn't really get going and Titch was blowing out cobwebs. In their absence, everyone else stepped up. McIntosh roamed the wings as well as he has since night one, Grigg continues to put together a magnificent body of work for the season, Houli was again the key part of our defensive wall, Hunt and Ellis continue to run so hard that at least one of them is there whenever we need an extra person in a chain of handballs and Maric gave up more hitouts to Grundy but torched him around the ground.
Then, there is Ty. That's 10 goals in two week and, with Ty, form means strut. What a fantastic he was waltzing through the middle of the ground without a care in the world. Ty reckons he's a good as anyone and when he's going, we can beat anyone, so maybe he's on the money? He is marked criminally hard by the football world, especially Richmond supporters but Dimma is right, he needs to back it up. Before the start of the year, he had given up his spot to Griffiths. Undoubtedly he has won that back, now it's time to use that as a launch pad to go beyond being Jack's lieutenant and put himself among the very best tall forwards going around. I reckon he can do it and there will be no better place to strut through the middle of the ground than the MCG in the first week of the finals.
Up the other end of the ground stood Alex the Great and what an absolute clinic he put on against Cloke. Cloke isn't in the best form, but he's generally only one contested clunk and goal away from going on a spree and Rance, from experience, knew well enough not to give him the opportunity. When the ball came in, Rance was next to him. When Cloke was on a lead, Rance was next to him. When we rebounded, Rance was on the wing providing an option with Cloke nowhere to be seen. Cloke has lead the charge against us in the past, and it was amazing to see Rance deal back some of his own treatment. I can't stand Cloke, but my god he can play football and I'm not for that not being exhibited against us ever again. Cloke aside, they've found one in Moore, he is going to be a very good player.
Speaking of finals (I wasn't, but it's fun), the top four torch still flickers. We failed miserably getting GWS over the line against Sydney and St Kilda are our last chance on Sunday.
Changes for next week
It's a long year and I'd take the opportunity on Saturday night to rest a few blokes who look like they need it. They wont though so there hasn't ever been two more pointless sentences than these.
In: Hampson, McBean and Thomas
Out: Maric, Riewoldt, and Miles
The votes
5: Ty Vickery
4: Alex Rance
3: Jake Batchelor
2: Taylor Hunt
1: Bachar Houli
Unlucky: Loads but in rough order: Grigg, Rance, Deledio, Cotchin, Maric and basically everyone else.
Leaderboards
The Benny:
30: Dustin Martin
24: Bachar Houli
23: Anthony Miles, Trent Cotchin and Alex Rance
19: Alex Rance
18: Brett Deledio
17: Jack Riewoldt and Taylor Hunt
16: Shane Edwards and Shaun Grigg
15: Brandon Ellis
12: Troy Chaplin
10: Nick Vlastuin
9: Kane Lambert and Ty Vickery
8: Nick Vlastuin, Dylan Grimes and Ivan Maric
6: Jake Batchelor
3: Kamdyn McIntosh, Chris Newman and Ben Griffiths
2: Sam Lloyd
1: Steven Morris, Shaun Hampson and Ben Lennon
Blair Hartley Appreciation Award:
24: Bachar Houli
23: Anthony Miles
17: Taylor Hunt
16: Shaun Grigg
12: Troy Chaplin
8: Ivan Maric
1: Shaun Hampson
Anthony Banik Best First Year Player:
9: Kane Lambert
3: Kamdyn McIntosh
Joel Bowden's Golden Left Boot:
24: Bachar Houli
16: Shaun Grigg
12: Troy Chaplin
6: Jake Batchelor
3: Chris Newman
Greg Tivendale Rookie List Medal:
9: Kane Lambert
