It is fitting that the same week a few celebrities had naked photos leaked all over the Internet that Richmond was stripped to its core and exposed in the middle of Adelaide Oval on a sunny Sunday afternoon, while 40,000 Port fans who probably still live with their parents and steal their next door neighbour’s Internet cheered on.
During the Hardwick era, Richmond has transformed from a club who doesn’t make finals, to a club who doesn’t win them. That doesn’t make the first Sunday in September of 2013 or 2014 any less shit, but it beats pulling up stumps in August.
Picking the worst part of Sunday is as painful a process as choosing your least favourite Channel 9 cricket commentator (Healy), but after much deliberation it’s the fact that 10,000 people who travelled across the border into that cesspit of a city and left without ever believing we were a chance. There was an Anthony Miles (what a guy) free kick and then we took screwing the pooch to lusty heights that only only English sporting teams usually accommodate.
Sunday doesn’t make the Great Nine Game Streak (#gngs) any less impressive, but it does give it context. Hardwick and Co have built a really good football team, but one that on current trajectory will always fall short of being great. Players like Grimes, Batchelor, Foley, Griffiths, Morris, Conca, Petterd and Edwards may well get you to the finals but they are never positioning you to give the whole shebang a nudge. I’m not saying they should have been on yesterday’s cull list, but over the next 24 months we need to make some decisions that either ship those guys off or transition them from 15-20 in the pecking order to 25-30.
Nobody needs another piece about Cotchin kicking into the wind, so I’m picking my obscure gripe to ask why was it Chaplin that delivered the pre-game pep talk on the field? Last I checked he wasn’t the skipper and the thought process behind those emails to his former teammates suggest that he’s bloody lucky to be in the leadership group. I like Chaplin, but what pearls of wisdom could he have to offer that were beyond Cotchin other than “Lads, I used to play for this mob when they were spectacularly shite so let’s do it for me”?
Watching the replay or even looking at the stats is about as appealing to me as a movie involving Nicole Kidman so anything I’m writing about the game is done so relatively blind. Imagine a grown man, sitting over a pint, with his head in his hands muttering ‘I can’t fucking believe this is happening again’ and that and that’s pretty much the drift.
The claims we played our final the week before are a) rubbish, b) incredibly unfair on Port and c) a cop out for Richmond players because it’s now bleedingly obvious that if that were a final against Sydney then they would have lost.
Two blokes rose above the crud: Miles and Houli (#Moneyball4Lyf). Miles, the guy delisted by a club that won five games this year. Houli, the horrifically under appreciated by his own supporters half back flanker who had the amazing sense to tell Hird he’d rather play for someone else and save himself from a doping program that would make a Russian weightlifter wince. Miles cracked in from the very first bounce which puts him in a select group of one. Houli made mistakes, but at least he tried to create things, refusing to look sidewards and breaking the lines while a lot of his mates were part of some niche gameday protest that involved refusing to offer themselves as an option.
So 18 hours later when I finally opened a footy news site to have a Cotchin: We are hurting (or whatever it was) headline thrust at me, I was flat. That did the job last year but doesn’t even go close to it doing so this time, I don’t want to hear it pal.
Good on Port. It wasn’t that long ago that we were both anchored to the bottom of the ladder along with the Dees and, while they carried on about a jumper they’ve worn for five minutes, I hope both they and North Melbourne get right up Fremantle and Geelong because I’m not sure I can hack the same top four battling it out for what feels like the 53rd year straight. I don’t like that song because I reckon if I had access 50,000 people I could easily get them to sing along to INXS and wouldn’t need the world’s best stadium (Anfield and Fenway Park say hi) to get it happening. But I completely understand that I am just about solo with this and it’s time to move on.
All in all, we made the finals twice in a row for the first time since Magellan set off for the East Indies so 2014 isn’t a complete loss. We managed to turn a 3-10 debacle into a tilt at the finals a final, found a corker in Anthony Miles while the Dees and Pies sold the farm for lesser players, continue to diversify our avenues to goal (even though sometimes I’d prefer it if we’d kick it to the two time Coleman medallist), introduced Ben Lennon ever so gently into the fray and Ty Vickery punched someone in Western Australia and nearly caused WWIII which is still top of my list.
Like anyone else not playing for the next three weeks there are a few issues, some of them that need to be addressed ASAP. The Hampson trade I can handle for insurance purposes but the three year deal remains a noodle scratcher, we have problems in defence and by my count are short a quality tall, medium and small sized defender as well as a rebounding player and, like everyone not playing this weekend, we are short three quality midfielders (not counting McDonough, Lennon and Pick 10 who will hopefully come on next year), a small and medium sized forward ( =not counting McBean), a young ruckman, leadership, a partridge in a pear tree and for the love of god if we don’t have a crack at a ready made small forward I will go spare.
The one thing we do have apparently is oodles of cap space. But given what’s left of the dwindling free agent list, we’ll likely need to trade to get players and, unless Dylan Shiel is involved, I like the idea of another top ten pick. Anyway, only Melbourne seem to be gearing up to be active traders and anyone they’re willing to let go of could have been traded for Aaron Edwards. So I suspect we’ll be relatively quiet again and continue front loading contracts until 2021 when everyone will be playing for free. Chances are we’ll have a lash at a few delisted types and the need for speed suggests we’ll be into Leroy Jetta and Sam Blease both of whom I would be reasonably content about parting with a late draft or rookie pick for.
In terms of trading chips at our disposal, it’s hard to see who would be on offer. Griffiths recently signed a two year deal which doesn’t rule out a trade, but makes it very unlikely. Everyone seems to hate him but I’d be right into Vickery if I was the Dogs and/or Lions. Conca is very tradeable from where I’m sitting but we’d be getting change on the dollar considering we spent a top ten pick not that long ago. Grimes and Batchelor would be on the table for anyone desperate for a defender, but we are hardly likely to snare Luke Parker in return. So unless something left field happens, or we can talk someone into heading out of contract into stiffing their club and heading into the pre-season draft and hoping like all get-up he’s still around when we have a pick, I reckon we’ll be pretty quiet.
Of the guys who seem willing to leave and who would add to our structures (ie. aren’t called Mitch Clark. Jared Waite or James Frawley), Higgins is by far the most appealing but he’ll likely have plenty of suitors who will offer more cash than Blair Hartley will be willing to part with and continue sleeping at night (not a criticism).
Votes (finals count for double)
10: Anthony Miles
8: Bachar Houli
6: Brett Deledio
4: Shaun Grigg
2: Nathan Gordon
Leaderboards
The Benny
36: Brandon Ellis
31: Trent Cotchin
28: Brett Deledio
27: Dustin Martin, Jack Riewoldt and Anthony Miles
23: Alex Rance
22: Bachar Houli
14: David Astbury and Bachar Houli
13: Shaun Hampson
12: Shaun Grigg
11: Shane Edwards, Troy Chaplin and Ricky Petterd
10: Daniel Jackson
6: Steven Morris, Matt Thomas and Ty Vickery
5: Nathan Foley and Ivan Maric
4: Sam Lloyd and Dylan Grimes
3: Ben Griffiths and Nathan Gordon
2: Nick Vlastuin, Nathan Foley and Chris Newman
1: Orren Stephenson, Matthew Dea and Ben Lennon
Blair Hartley Appreciation Award
27: Anthony Miles
22: Bachar Houli
13: Shaun Hampson
12: Shaun Grigg
11: Ricky Petterd and Troy Chaplin
6: Matt Thomas
5: Ivan Maric
3: Nathan Gordon
1: Orren Stephenson
Anthony Banik Best First Year Player
4: Sam Lloyd
1: Ben Lennon
Joel Bowden’s Golden Left Boot
22: Bachar Houli
12: Shaun Grigg
11: Troy Chaplin
Greg Tivendale Rookie Medal
27: Anthony Miles
6: Matt Thomas
1: Orren Stephenson
The wash up
Brandon Ellis wins The Benny, which given Jackson finished mid-field last year should not be seen as any sort of B&F form.
The world’s greatest man Anthony Miles only needed half a season to clean up the Blair Hartley Appreciation Award, Greg Tivendale Rookie Medal and a top six finish in The Benny. Which isn’t all that bad for bloke who started the year on $65,000.
Sam Lloyd only needed to poll once to pick up the Anthony Banik Best First Year Player and funnily enough, both he and Ben Lennon only polled in their first games. So hardly a grand start for this award.
My man Bachar Houli sealed Joel Bowden’s Golden Left Boot by being one of the two players not to completely disgrace themselves against Port.
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